When There Are No Easy Answers

The temptation can be to self-isolate, but there is another option, too.

Photo Credit: Claudio Schwarz

Personal growth is great. But sometimes life kicks you in the tender parts with such force that no additional amount of personal insight, emotional awareness, or coping skills will make much of a positive difference. (At least not in the short term.)

These are the moments when there are no easy answers. No easy fixes. You’ve maxed out the effectiveness of breathing exercises and self-care. And you still feel like you’re barely holding on.

In moments like this, it is helpful to consider something that may feel counterintuitive…

Your emotions are not your own.

Human beings are adept at drawing others into shared emotional experiences. Our collective toolbox is packed with skills like crying, shouting, pouting, laughing, winking, flirting, etc. All with the purpose of enticing others to feel what we feel.

It’s ok to invite others into your difficult moments. And when peace-of-mind eludes you, you can borrow the emotions of others.

Can this go too far?

Of course. But we’re not talking about emotional codependence. We are talking about the other extreme of raising the drawbridge and shutting ourselves off from the economy of shared emotions.

So, what should you do when there are no easy answers to life’s problems?

Lend and borrow with people you trust… because your emotions are not your own.

And that’s a good thing.

-Austin